The book Publisher's Weekly called "Hilarious!"

At last, the dirty little secrets of making it as a best-selling author revealed
by long-time New York publishing insider!

The book that will turn you into a best-selling author—guaranteed!
Or five times your money back!

This bitingly satirical tome—chockablock with lies as it is—offers more truth than any dozen ordinary how-to-be-published books.

•The secrets of ‘bonding’ with new york editors.

•Mistakes made by ‘hack’ writers.

•How to know when your muse is calling.

•Which writers to read and which to avoid.

•How watching tv can be your doorway to success.

•Why literary agents want to ‘discover’ you.

•How to write a best-selling novel without revising.

•What plots are ‘winners.’

•What plots are ‘losers.’

•Why ‘names’ are published more often than ‘unknowns.’

•How to know what to write about.

•Why clichés deserve a place in the author’s toolbox.

•What genre is ripe for ‘breaking in.’

•Why not to ‘write what you know.’

•Why being published is just the beginning.

•Handling fame and wealth.

•How to treat fans.