It took me many years to write this book, and as painful as it was to revisit the past at times, it was important that I write it. It is important to me that I honor my mom. And it is important to me to show that her life was and continues to be a source of inspiration and strength. This is about my journey over the last 20 years as I came to terms with trying to make sense out of what happened. I wanted to be as honest and open as I could, and by doing so perhaps help myself and others heal. Sadly there continues to be many hurtful stigmas around mental illness, suicide, and being gay. For those of you who have walked a similar path, I hope by sharing my story that some of the shame and guilt and loneliness that feels debilitating at times, will be lessened. I want you to know you are not alone...that healing is possible. And for those who have friends or family members that share similar experiences as my story, may you have a new way of seeing them. It is my hope that we all find a deeper understanding and compassion for ourselves and for one another.