Have you ever helped your pop escape from a nursing home? Does your teacher have a problem with his bowels? Is your sister an evil genius and criminal mastermind? Have you ever mined your teeth for cash? Do you want to know where all the lost socks go? Is there a girl or boy at school who's desperate to kiss you? And do you know someone with the worst case of nits in world history? I do. I'm Tom Weekly and this is the third book in my weird, funny, sometimes gross life story.