We, the people of Earth, are closer than ever to making contact with Aliens. But what are we going to say when they pick up the phone? That may seem like a fanciful question, but thanks to recent advances in science it is becoming a pressing one. We now know that bacteria made an appearance very soon after the Earth formed, implying that living things are common in the Galaxy. The new Kepler Space Telescope has shown us that there are many Earth-like planets orbiting the stars around us, giving that life many potential places to evolve and grow. And our technology is rapidly improving to the point where--if alien civilisations exist--we will be able to detect them, and maybe even have a chat. In this book Ben Miller charts his attempt to become the Earth's very own 'Alien Ambassador', attached to the UN, with a clear vision of how to manage alien affairs. He tours Russia, China, and the US to see the latest space programs and learn as much as he can about the history of alien communication, from the devastation of the Plains Indians at the hands of the Frontiersmen, to the latest advances in the Search For Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence or SETI.