As a young, queer woman, Catherine Guthrie worked hard to feel at home in her body. However, after years writing about women's health and breast cancer, Guthrie is thrust into the role of the patient after a devastating diagnosis at age thirty-eight. At least, she thinks, I know what I'm up against. She is wrong. In one horrifying moment after another, everything that could go wrong does - the surgeon gives her a double mastectomy but misses the cancerous lump, one of the most effective drug treatments fails, and a doctor's error may have unleashed millions of breast cancer cells into her body. This book is Guthrie's story of how two bouts of breast cancer shook her faith in her body, her relationship, and medicine. Along the way, she challenges the view that breasts are essential to femininity and paramount to a woman's happiness. Ultimately, she traces an intimate portrayal of how cancer reshapes her relationship with Mary, her partner, revealing - in the midst of crisis - a love story. Filled with candor, vulnerability, and resilience, Guthrie upends the "pink ribbon" narrative and offers a unique perspective on womanhood, what it means to be "whole," and the importance of women advocating for their desires. This book is the story of how she found the strength to forge an unconventional path - one of listening to her body - that she'd been on all along.