If the "Sopranos" wore overalls and didn't like shoes, they'd live in Mexican Wells...

If Jack hadn't screwed up a no-brainer holdup in Amarillo, if he hadn't gotten high with a long-legged Oklahoma girl -- hey, if he'd ever done anything right, he wouldn't have ended up in the Huntsville pen. He sure as hell wouldn't be washing dishes in a dump like Wan's.

The good news is, Wan's is next door to Piggs, where Jack's beloved, Gloria Mundi, takes it all off every night.

The bad news is, redneck mobster Cecil R. Dupree runs Piggs, and wants Gloria for himself. So does banker Ricky Chavez, and every other loser for a hundred miles around.

It isn't easy to court a girl like that, or get her out to Denny's for a pie. Not easy at all if she lives in the long abandoned BATTLE OF BRITUN FAMILY FUN PARK, high up in a German bomber in a tree.

Still, all Jack needs is a couple of hundred grand, and he can take Gloria out of all this. One way to get it is to foul up Cecil's dope deal. Kill Cecil and his boys, and the bad bunch from New Orleans, steal a fast car, get out of town...

What's wrong with a plan like that?