The ordinary world never made sense to Amanda, who grew up certain her friends and family would die or disappear if she quit watching them, compulsively treating every parting as a final good-bye. Shuttled between divorced parents, from a barefoot bohemian existence in Greenwich Village to a sanitized, stricter world uptown, this smart, sensitive little girl experienced life through the distorting lense of an undiagnosed panic disorder. Her darkly funny memoir is at once a love letter to 1970-80s New York City, a coming-of-age story of an anxious, unusually perceptive child, and a window into adult life and relationships lived on the razor's edge of panic.